6 steps to kickstart your therapy journey
As a therapist, I’m really glad our culture is coming around to the idea that we could all use some mental health support from time to time.
On the other hand, I still notice lots of people carrying stereotypes about therapy that keep them from starting the process to get the help they want and need.
Including me.
After I had my baby, I cried a lot. I thought it might be helpful to have a space to talk through my feelings.
But even as a therapist who fully believes in the power of therapy, I had my doubts: Do I really need this? If I already know what’s going on with me, will someone else really be able to help me? Should I be spending money on this, when I currently have less money to spend?
I ended up telling myself what I tell others who are contemplating therapy: It’s completely normal to feel resistance when starting this process, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it anyway.
If you’re thinking about starting therapy, here are 6 tips to help you make the most of it:
1. Don’t wait until you hit rock bottom.
A lot of times, people come to me when they’re in a really rough emotional place, because it took them a while to acknowledge that they need and deserve help. Though it’s great that they’ve finally sought support, it usually takes a lot more effort to get them back to a healthy place than if they’d come to me earlier.
If you seek out help before you hit bottom, it’s easier to go deeper and create more growth. Instead of going for stability or getting back to the status quo, you can go after bigger emotional goals.
2. Be honest about your stereotypes.
Though our culture is growing more open to therapy, it might still carry a stigma for you.
Going to therapy doesn’t mean you are mentally ill or inadequate or broken—but you might believe this at some level.
It helps to come clean with yourself about what you believe. Try writing it all out as you see it: What does it mean for you that you need or want to go to therapy?
Once you get clear about your stereotypes around therapy, it’s much easier to address and eventually let go of them.
Meanwhile, think of it this way: if a friend came to you contemplating therapy, would you judge them? No! You’d support them in taking care of themselves and encourage them to get the help they want and need.
3. Lean on your network.
Speaking of friends: if you’re looking for a therapist, it helps to tell people about it. There’s a double benefit here:
· You might get a lot more support and positive reinforcement than you thought.
· You can get recommendations and find therapists with a “stamp of approval” from people you trust.
Win-win, right?
4. Work within your means.
You might catch yourself thinking you don’t have the time or money for therapy. Your survival mind is afraid to be vulnerable and change the status quo, so it keeps coming up with reasons not to do it.
When it comes to money, you can find cheaper options through your insurance provider or at graduate school counseling centers, which offer free or low-fee counseling sessions with therapists in training.
You might be thinking, “I don't want to be someone’s guinea pig.” But take it from me: what beginning therapists lack in experience they make up for in passion and caring. More often than not, they do everything in their power to be as helpful as possible.
If you can’t afford to go every week, make it every other week, or adjust your budget in a way that makes it possible.
Ultimately, the time and money you invest in therapy will come back to you tenfold, because it helps set you up to become a happier, more productive, creative, and inspired version of yourself.
5. Commit to the search.
It might take you a while to find the right therapy style and the right therapist for you.
Read through profiles on TherapyDen or Psychology Today and see which ones resonate with you. Schedule free introductory calls with several therapists and see whom you vibe with the most.
Your relationship with your therapist is so intimate. That’s why it’s important to find someone you feel safe with, someone you can trust. And remember: It’s okay if the first person isn’t the right fit.
If you put in the time to find the right person, they can become a longtime resource you can keep going back to when you need it.
6. Trust the process.
As much as we wish it would, therapy can’t fix things right away. As time goes by, you might question whether talking to this person is really helping you. The process can work in subtle ways, and the results aren’t always obvious.
In a way, therapy is like exercise: it takes time to build up your muscles, increase your endurance, and get healthier. You can’t see the results right away, but in the long run, the benefits become abundantly clear.
And if you’re going through your therapy journey and still having doubts? Share them with your therapist. As your partner in growth, they can help you assess your progress and address your concerns about the process.
In the end, I promise it’s worth the effort.
Going back to therapy was one of the best things I could’ve done for myself and my baby, Leo. It helped me work through things I didn’t even know were weighing me down. It gave me tools and strategies I can use to work through things on my own. It helped me become a happier and better version of me—both for myself and for Leo.
Thanks to therapy, I’m feeling even better than I did than before I became a mom. And I have another person in my corner, someone I can turn to whenever things get tough and I need space to talk it out.
Do you want to learn more about how to develop a healthy relationship with your emotions? In my upcoming course, Embracing Self-Love, we’ll co-create a path to a healthy relationship with yourself and your emotions. Learn more here.