Navigating the Therapy Jungle – A short introduction to the most common therapy methods
Trying to find the right therapist for you can be incredibly daunting and overwhelming.
Especially when you start looking around online and it feels like learning a whole new language: CBT, EMDR, psychodynamic – what do all these terms even mean?! And how are you supposed to know which type of therapy is right for you?
Don’t let the abundance of complicated terms and abbreviations discourage you. It can be really hard to find a therapist who’s the right fit (trust me, I’ve been there!), but let me assure you: making the decision to reach out for help is a tremendous achievement in itself. If you’ve come this far, you’re already halfway there.
Let’s disentangle this jungle of therapy methods so you can start getting the help you need.
First off, the two most common approaches are psychodynamic therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Psychodynamic therapy is emotionally rooted, while CBT focuses on the mind and thought patterns.
Psychodynamic Therapy
The psychodynamic approach assumes that your current challenges are actually coming from your childhood. It gives you the space to talk through your problems, and in the process to allow feelings and memories from your childhood to surface. Making connections between these childhood experiences and your current issues helps you work through both your past and current emotional pain.
I actually went to psychodynamic therapy myself recently, after I had my baby and was struggling with all the overwhelming emotions of motherhood (meaning I cried a lot). In therapy, I figured out that my pain was connected to experiences from my childhood. I had space to sit in my feelings and re-experience my childhood pain, which made it possible for me to move through the emotions and ultimately release them.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Negative thought patterns cause negative behavior. This, in turn, creates negative thought patterns. Which creates even more negative behavior, and so on. CBT tries to break this cycle by transforming negative thoughts into positive ones. For example: you take a recurring thought like “I’m so stupid” and slowly replace it with “I am a capable, intelligent human being.”
The CBT approach is very focused on the present: rather than analyzing where your problems stem from, it helps you figure out what to do with them now. If you like homework and a clear structure, this might be a good fit for you.
I rely on this approach a lot, both personally and professionally. It’s a tool my first therapist shared with me when I was a teenager. It helps me to find clarity in my thinking when I’m struggling with certain issues. By creating awareness around your thought patterns, CBT helps you build a foundation for how you want to be in the world, how you want to see yourself, and where you want to go.
Here’s what to remember about these two methods:
· If you’re stuck in your emotions, go to cognitive behavioral therapy to get back in touch with your mind.
· If you’re stuck in your head, go to psychodynamic therapy to get back in touch with your emotions.
But wait, there’s more!
Humanistic Existential Therapy
This is the approach I practice. It combines lots of different aspects into one.
‘Existential’ is a term borrowed from philosophy (ever heard of Friedrich Nietzsche?). Basically, it means that just the fact of existing causes a natural anxiety – we don’t know what any of it means, all we know is that life ends eventually, and that creates existential anxiety and dread. Humanistic existential therapy helps you cope with this natural anxiety in two ways:
1. By finding ways to create meaning in your life
2. By connecting with your values, which gives you purpose and something to strive for.
The humanistic aspect means that we’re focusing on you as an individual: You’re the expert on your own life, and as a therapist I’m there as a collaborator to help you figure out what’s best for you and where you want to go. I personally think both psychodynamic and cognitive behavioral therapy should always have an element of the humanistic approach in them.
For me, living my life according to humanistic existential ideals means striving for my highest value, which is being surrounded by love. Knowing this helps me focus on what really matters. It’s like a compass that guides me in the right direction, no matter what obstacles life throws at me.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Though it’s more of a therapy tool than an approach of its own, EMDR is also worth mentioning here, since it’s a fantastic method for working through trauma (from extreme traumatic events to intense emotional experiences like divorce or a car accident) and processing stuck emotions.
How and why does EMDR work? When you experience something traumatic —or feel any type of intense emotion—your right brain absorbs what you’ve been through. But afterward, when you’re trying to make sense of the experience, you use the left side of the brain, which controls language.
EMDR uses movement, sound, or touch to connect both the right and left hemispheres of the brain simultaneously, allowing you to reprocess the trauma and release it in a different way.
If you want to learn more, I briefly dive into EMDR in the Appendix of my book, Life Launch. I also share my own experiences with EMDR in this episode of my podcast.
In combination with other therapy methods, EMDR is a powerful tool. If you’ve tried other types of therapy and they haven’t work for you, EMDR might be worth a try.
Group Therapy
Another important consideration when you’re searching for the right therapy method is whether you want to do individual or group therapy. In a group setting, you work through your challenges with other people around. This is especially great for any sort of social issue, like loneliness, social anxiety, or recurring conflicts with other people.
In group therapy, you practice what you do in the real world in a space where people honestly tell you how it makes them feel. You see yourself reflected in them and can work on things as they come up. It’s a fast-forward way of learning to deal with things – it speeds up the process of processing, so to speak.
Personally, group therapy changed my life as a teenager. It gave me an amazing social support system: It was my first group of friends when I was depressed, and I’m still best friends with one of the people I met there. I also picked up social skills in group therapy that I could fall back on when I struggled to make friends after college.
Whichever kind of therapy you choose, the most important thing is to find a therapist you feel safe with. Someone you can trust and openly share your struggles and emotions with. A lot of therapists use a mishmash of different theories and approaches, but it’s always helpful to know what concepts and strategies they have in their toolbox.
Ultimately, you want to leave your sessions with something to really think about. Something that makes you feel like you’re growing. That’s the whole point of therapy after all, no matter what methods a particular therapist practices.
Do you want to learn more about how to develop a healthy relationship with your emotions? In my book, Life Launch, I write about how to cope with big emotions like anxiety, anger, and depression—and how to bring more calm and fulfillment into your life. Download a sample chapter here.